<3 fine art and thrift stores

My allergies are really beating me up. So I made some cinnamon toast to cheer myself up.

My allergies are going crazy right now and I just want to close my eyes. It was a really nice day though.
I got up at 8 after a not very restful sleep. I was feeling pretty agitated this morning but I don’t know why. I liked my outfit and my hair looked really good. The color really came out so well from dying it yesterday. But I just wasn’t in the best of mood. I got an email from Alexis around 10 saying the meeting was canceled because 4 people have the flu including her and one of director. So that sucks but then I was all thrown off my plans for the day. I got a few more hours of free time.
So I ended up staying in bed from 1015 until 1245 finishing reading the last 100 pages of my book. Which was really good and I&#8217;m sad its over. But things end. I spent my last hour or so eating lunch and watching stand up. It was a nice morning.
When I left the house I came to the realization I had never checked the mail the entire time my parents were gone. Oops.
Ii got to work and Kyndra texted me that she also wasn’t going to be there. So I was alone. But I wasn’t that worried. I&#8217;m feeling more confident about how to handle everything. I wasn’t sure what I was going to have the kids do today so I ended up talking with one of the highschoolers to help me come up with a game but she ended up bailing on me in the end so whatever. I was actually able to keep everyone pretty calm until my one problem girl came in and riled everyone up and then on of the boys got all hype. I got everyone’s snacks but then after everyone was back to work another little boy showed up and I had to leave the room to get him something to eat. And when I came back Dontae was flashing the lights on and off and everyone was screaming and I freaked out and yelled at them. And it worked. They all calmed down and sat down but then Danni and the problem girl started throwing things and screaming so I just kicked them out. Even though they both started saying they didn’t do anything. I just had to get the noise out to keep everyone else calm. We were pretty calm for 20 minutes until the problem girl’s mom came and I went to find her and both girls were down the hall spinning on the wheely chairs. I was not happy. But I talked to both girls parents and while the problem girl doesn’t really show signs of having any respect for me all the other kids are getting better overall.
I ended up just letting them play games online for most of the day with a short break to give out prizes for diorama winners. Which left a few non winners in tears and I basically just told them they didn’t win, not everyone won, that happens. They didn’t try and or finish their diorama anyway so I don’t understand how they thought they would win? It was stupid but whatever.
I ended up having to stay until 630 because one of my directors who was sick forgot to send someone to get her kid but it wasn’t a big deal. I had a nice ride home and had the job off for camp in waiting for me when I got back. It doesn’t pay as much as I was hoping and I&#8217;m unclear about the hours, but I&#8217;m still excited. Training is this weekend so we will find out everything then.

 I wanted to show my mom how I can do one pull up now and I accidently pulled the bar down. Oops. It had gotten a little lose and popped off and scared us but no one got hurt it was just loud. Still pretty funny. Now though I&#8217;m going to catch up on my dash and maybe start a new book but really I just want to go to sleep. I hope you have a good night. 

My allergies are going crazy right now and I just want to close my eyes. It was a really nice day though.

I got up at 8 after a not very restful sleep. I was feeling pretty agitated this morning but I don’t know why. I liked my outfit and my hair looked really good. The color really came out so well from dying it yesterday. But I just wasn’t in the best of mood. I got an email from Alexis around 10 saying the meeting was canceled because 4 people have the flu including her and one of director. So that sucks but then I was all thrown off my plans for the day. I got a few more hours of free time.

So I ended up staying in bed from 1015 until 1245 finishing reading the last 100 pages of my book. Which was really good and I’m sad its over. But things end. I spent my last hour or so eating lunch and watching stand up. It was a nice morning.

When I left the house I came to the realization I had never checked the mail the entire time my parents were gone. Oops.

Ii got to work and Kyndra texted me that she also wasn’t going to be there. So I was alone. But I wasn’t that worried. I’m feeling more confident about how to handle everything. I wasn’t sure what I was going to have the kids do today so I ended up talking with one of the highschoolers to help me come up with a game but she ended up bailing on me in the end so whatever. I was actually able to keep everyone pretty calm until my one problem girl came in and riled everyone up and then on of the boys got all hype. I got everyone’s snacks but then after everyone was back to work another little boy showed up and I had to leave the room to get him something to eat. And when I came back Dontae was flashing the lights on and off and everyone was screaming and I freaked out and yelled at them. And it worked. They all calmed down and sat down but then Danni and the problem girl started throwing things and screaming so I just kicked them out. Even though they both started saying they didn’t do anything. I just had to get the noise out to keep everyone else calm. We were pretty calm for 20 minutes until the problem girl’s mom came and I went to find her and both girls were down the hall spinning on the wheely chairs. I was not happy. But I talked to both girls parents and while the problem girl doesn’t really show signs of having any respect for me all the other kids are getting better overall.

I ended up just letting them play games online for most of the day with a short break to give out prizes for diorama winners. Which left a few non winners in tears and I basically just told them they didn’t win, not everyone won, that happens. They didn’t try and or finish their diorama anyway so I don’t understand how they thought they would win? It was stupid but whatever.

I ended up having to stay until 630 because one of my directors who was sick forgot to send someone to get her kid but it wasn’t a big deal. I had a nice ride home and had the job off for camp in waiting for me when I got back. It doesn’t pay as much as I was hoping and I’m unclear about the hours, but I’m still excited. Training is this weekend so we will find out everything then.

 I wanted to show my mom how I can do one pull up now and I accidently pulled the bar down. Oops. It had gotten a little lose and popped off and scared us but no one got hurt it was just loud. Still pretty funny. Now though I’m going to catch up on my dash and maybe start a new book but really I just want to go to sleep. I hope you have a good night. 

My allergies are really bothering me so I’m going to take a hot shower to help that after I post this.

I slept in until 930 today which was so needed. I cant wait to go to bed tonight as well. These last few days have really beat me up. Me and Jess were supposed to go have lunch with Kat in the city but Jess had to cancel to get some homework done, so I just went myself.

I had some toast and half a clementine and took the 11 am train downtown. I hadn’t been on the train for a few weeks but it wasn’t so terrible. Reading and listening to some music. It was nice. I met Kat at moore and we decided on pizza because the sushi place is closed on Sunday. We ended up talking and eating for an hour and a half and it was really great. She’s so smart and we had some really good discussions about art and graduate schools and thesis. It was really good to hang out.

We went back to her studio next and she showed me some other people’s studios in her room. There is some seriously interesting processes going on this year. One girl made this huge bath for making giant stained paper. Another girl is making spiders. I also saw some giant papier-mâché pears! Kat is making some really interesting paintings with amorphous shapes and I’m excited to see the final pieces. They totally changed the way thesis is done this year and instead of making one piece and focusing on that they have to make lots of pieces and pick the best one? Which seems bizarre because my thesis paper was about the one piece? So how will they write their paper? I don’t know it seemed really weird.

Kat walked me to the train station and I got the 230 home. The cute soft face conductor was on on my way home but we didn’t talk much. Still so handsome. I got back to my car before 4 and went over to the beauty supply store to try to find detangler but the girl wasn’t super helpful. I told her I wanted something not heavy and wont make my hair greasy but she showed me what she uses and then says her hair is really greasy? That isn’t helpful. I found one online though so I’m going to check at target tomorrow for it. Next I went to big bear and got witch hazel to replace the toner that is making me all broken out.

I went home after that and dyed my hair and let my fish tank’s filter run for a few hours. I watched tv and hung out and read some articles online. I thought about doing some other stuff but I don’t feel so great so I just chilled instead. I had some soup for dinner and talked to my mom and played with grey cat. I think now I’m going to go wash my hair and get in bed and read until I fall asleep. I’m really feeling super foggy though so I cant imagine it will take very long for that to happen.

There’s a staff meeting at work tomorrow and I’m really nervous about going in because we forgot to put the chairs back in the room and take the art cart out on Friday so my anxiety is pretty high as well. So send good thoughts that I don’t lose the job that I really love because I was forgetful.

Goodnight.

I am so tired and this month has been so full of activity I need a break. Its not even over yet. That’s it, no activities in November are allowed. I woke up around 8 and was to tired I didn’t think I was going to make it. But after some exercise I felt much better and was ready for the trip.

I love love love my ren faire costume this year and I couldn’t wait to wear it. I think the only thing that was a bummer today was that it got pretty cold at some points but it was dry and nice, though breezy, for 90% of the day. I had a really great time! Jess’s family is so nice. They got me mcdonalds for breakfast and we also went to ChickFila and Starbucks but I didn’t get anything there. The ride to Lancaster County was a nice drive and we talked the whole way there because me and Jess can talk forever. It was a beautiful fall day.

 I got to go to the faire for free because Jess’s brother’s fiancé works there so that was really a nice surprise. And her dad gave Jess $20 for food which she shared with me. So I spent most, but not all of my money. First thing we did was go see Circus Stella, which is the act that made us want to try aerial silks. It was great as always and we spent the whole time saying  “we can do that!”. And it was so great.

We left her family after that and got mac and cheese to share. It was really good and hot and perfect. We looked around a lot and wanted to buy everything but held back because we had limited funds. We looked around for a long time and talked and people watched. It was fun. We were still really hungry so we ended up getting a brownie to split, which was giant. It was good but would have been better warm.

It seemed the big thing this year was stripy thigh high socks. There was a stand that had a ton of them and they were 100% cotton which was nice. Jess ended up getting 3 pairs by the end of the day and I got one pair of decorative knit solid black ones. The ones I got were more expensive but I felt like I would get more use out of them being thicker. I’m happy with the purchase.

We also had some really good curly fries and we saw cute boys and I pet some grey hounds, which are my favorite dogs. I had some good conversations with strangers and saw an elephant and bought a cast iron mouse. I also found a silk rose on the ground at the end of the night and I kept that so that was a nice surprise from the universe.

It was a really great day. Around 4 we had a sit down meal with her family at the mermaid and anchor restaurant but we had just had some fries so we picked from everyone elses’ plates and had some really awesome bread.

After some more walking around and then waiting for the end of the joust we all piled in the car, took off our corsets and went home.

My parents are still traveling back but should be here soon. I am very tired but I am going to stay up to see them. It was a really nice day. I am ready for bed though. I’m having lunch with Jess and Kat downtown tomorrow so that should be fun. I have almost no money left though so we will see what happens with that. I hope you all have a good night and sleep well. 

To the ren faire

To the ren faire

I woke up around 730 today and it was beautiful out. I was still a little on edge about being alone in the house but I had things to do so I did them. I stretched and even tried to do some pull ups on my new bar. Not super successful but we’ll get there. I had a really good breakfast and fed the cats and opened up the house. I did some work here but I left around 10 to get some adult things done.

Like get a flu shot! And buy vitamins. And make a dentist appointment. It was a fruitful trip. I got home and made pasta and then baked it with fresh spinach and ricotta cheese and sauce and topped with 2 cups of mozzarella. I baked it for about a half hour and it was so good. I have a ton of left overs though so I wont have to worry about dinner anymore. Plus all that soup I made. Honestly those are the 2 things I make well. And I think at 23 having those 2 good things is better than most 20 somethings.  

I left for work around 2 and it was a pretty good day. I had made up prizes for the winners of our diorama contest but what I didn’t account for was everyone voting for Kyndra and Davante, 2 people who are not my students and thus don’t get counted in prizes. So we ended up with too many ties so on Monday we will have a tie breaker I guess? I’m unsure of that plan. But it was a good day overall. I’m getting way better at taking no shit and getting everyone to do what I want. We also had some visitors, 2 education students who had really great arms and were so smart. They will be coming on Fridays to help out and teach their own lessons for an internship (I think that’s the deal). It was so nice talking to them though, wicked smart.

I had a mild anxiety attack on my way home because I realized we had left our cart and class rules poster up in the classroom. And then remembered we forgot to put the rolly chairs back in the room after we took them from the kids. I emailed Alexis but I’ve emailed her with my dumb problems like 4 times today with no answer so I think she is taking the day off. I hope we don’t get in trouble for this. I mean the room was clean! I just forgot and I was most of the way home and by the time I got back the doors would be locked. It was just upsetting. I mean with everything that happened earlier this week I’m on edge. I really like my job you know?

After I talked to Kyndra and she talked me down I got home and fed everyone. I took a shower and put on my costume. I picked up Jess before 9 and we were the first ones at the party. I thought we were going to Davron’s but it was actually Tom’s Dad’s house that I have never been to before. You could totally tell boys lived there because the furniture was against the walls and there was almost zero decoration. The party was fun! At first it was just me and Jess and the hosts, but then more people came and we had pizza and candy and danced a lot. It was very good. I got lots of compliments on my costume. Also hugs. I wish we could have stayed longer but I was beat and we are going to the ren faire tomorrow so we left around 1115.

Okay lie. We started saying goodbye then, but Jon is chatty and I had lots of good bye hugs to give so it took another 15 minutes before we were ushered out the door. I love my friends and I am sad I don’t spend any time with them anymore because I always have such a good time. But I feel often like I’m an outside in that group? Like they do things together and don’t invite me so I don’t feel apart and we go months with no words. I know it isn’t malicious or anything, but still. Whatever. It was great seeing Jon and Matt and Tom and Davron. And the girls. We ran into someone Jess went to highschool with and she was dressed as the 50 foot woman which was an amazing choice. But I’m happy to be home now. The house is all locked up and I am ready to get this makeup off and get in bed. Ren faire ALL day tomorrow. Sleep well!

*!%&amp;!$*#!Marionette baby*!$&amp;!$&amp;

*!%&!$*#!Marionette baby*!$&!$&

Post will be late tonight! Going to a party with Jess!

My soup turned out so good! I ended up with 4 containers of it and I am eating some of it now anyway. 

Today was really good for me!

I woke up exhausted but I got myself together and showered and dressed and made scrambled eggs and felt pretty good. My parents went away to Maine today so dad showed me where the water shut off is and wrote out the number for 911 for me. I was glad they were doing something together but sad I’m going to be on my own.

But also excited. Because I can pretend I live alone for a few days. First thing I did when they left was go get groceries. I went to target first and bought neon pink tights for my Halloween costume but I’m not using them anymore so they are now a think I just own. I also got soda and some really  not very good gum. Next I went to Giant and got ingredients for fun meals, like the kale soup and baked ziti. I spent good money but I only bought things I was excited and had a plan for.

I came home and made a whole bunch of breakfast potatoes and watched AHS and did the dishes. I had a grilled cheese for lunch and really just had a nice morning.

I left for work around 2 and had a nice drive in. it was beautiful outside today and I was happy to be out in the sun.

Work was good. I talked to Alexis and the principal of ACT apparently thanked her for how well me and Kyndra cleaned and thanked her for my apology so we hope that that means good things.  I also talked to Alexis about the lesson plans she has been getting ready for me and I am excited to get to work on them with the kids. I think they are finally starting to respect me. Like finally finally. I’m getting better with follow through and getting my way. I have to keep reminding myself I’m the adult in the situation. Its weird. But it was a really good day.

We had to move over to the other class room at five because they needed our room for a meeting which was no big deal to me but made Kyndra really angry? I like her a lot but she gets to hype about things sometimes. It can be a double edge sword for sure.

I was pretty unhappy with a parent of one of the little kids today. The kid lost his book paper he had to sign daily for his homework and the dad lost it. Like I get he has lost it before and has lost jackets and stuff but stop screaming at him. He’s less then hip height on me and this guy was big and the kids was so upset. He’s the sweetest kid and he just lost it its not like he tore it up, no reason to grip him up like that. He kept saying he was trying to make him a “man”. Dude he’s in kindergarten. It was upsetting.

But I got to leave on time and stopped at the grocery on the way home for a few things I forgot and I got home and I fed the cats and now I’m making soup from scratch. It smells so good but I couldn’t wait to eat so I made a burrito and I will have that for tomorrow. I am really happy right now and I’m going to finish my soup and wash my face and read and sleep. I hope you all have a really good night.  

phantomthelabrat:

wrotten:

Sami Kuosmanen

At first glance I thought this was a herd of wild doritos

phantomthelabrat:

wrotten:

Sami Kuosmanen

At first glance I thought this was a herd of wild doritos

Today had a lot of stress for me. I mean lots of it was good. But now I&#8217;m in fear of losing a job I really like and its giving me an upset stomach.
I went to bed really early and woke up around 730. I had a nice breakfast and felt pretty good. But then I got an email from Alexis and apparently the people we share the classroom with emailed them furious that the room was so dirty and apparently they took pictures and I had no idea what they were talking about. I wont disagree that the room has paint on it and could have been gone over again but me and Kyndra(who I just found out today doesn’t spell it “Kendra”) picked up all the trash and so I&#8217;m very confused. I emailed back and forth with Alexis and we ended up having a long meeting when I got in about it. And while they are not firing me but if ACT doesn’t want us in the room we are using anymore the program would get canceled and we could be out of jobs. I didn’t want to cry but I could feel my voice cracking. I love this job and I want to stay in it. So I made a change today. I am the lead teacher and I&#8217;m not taking shit from the kids anymore its just not going to happen.
The rest of my morning was good though. I watched the new supernatural and I hung out and it was nice. I had to go in at work early and because of my anxiety about the class room and the meeting I went in around 11.
After the meeting my day improved though. I was so focused on making sure I got a handle on the kids I really spoke firmly and did my best to take control. It for real went better. I can see things that need to be improved but for real I felt better. We had an intern come in today to observe and help a little and he was nice but from Taiwan and a little hard to understand if he spoke to quickly. I already don’t always hear so well but we made due and had some nice conversations. The kids were good overall and it was nice.
At 3 we went back to our classroom and me and Kyndra laid down the law. No computers, draw or work on your diorama, stop whining, no you cant work at the teacher table. I also implemented that if you are acting crazy you have to pick up 10 pieces of trash and it really helped clean the room up. The dioramas are also coming along nicely. And our gummy bear in water looked really bloated today. Honestly class itself was good overall. There are still whiner and complainers but I just am not putting up with it anymore. I told them that the program is going to be canceled if they don’t ship up so I think that helped. Also getting the 5th graders out of the room. That shit drives me up the wall.
I didn’t get out of there until close to 630 and I got home after 7 and had some soup that wasn’t very good and some toast. I have to go use my medicated shampoo but all I want to do it sit and read and listen to the rain.

I have some stuff I would like to do tomorrow. Cant be lazy. Goodnight!

Today had a lot of stress for me. I mean lots of it was good. But now I’m in fear of losing a job I really like and its giving me an upset stomach.

I went to bed really early and woke up around 730. I had a nice breakfast and felt pretty good. But then I got an email from Alexis and apparently the people we share the classroom with emailed them furious that the room was so dirty and apparently they took pictures and I had no idea what they were talking about. I wont disagree that the room has paint on it and could have been gone over again but me and Kyndra(who I just found out today doesn’t spell it “Kendra”) picked up all the trash and so I’m very confused. I emailed back and forth with Alexis and we ended up having a long meeting when I got in about it. And while they are not firing me but if ACT doesn’t want us in the room we are using anymore the program would get canceled and we could be out of jobs. I didn’t want to cry but I could feel my voice cracking. I love this job and I want to stay in it. So I made a change today. I am the lead teacher and I’m not taking shit from the kids anymore its just not going to happen.

The rest of my morning was good though. I watched the new supernatural and I hung out and it was nice. I had to go in at work early and because of my anxiety about the class room and the meeting I went in around 11.

After the meeting my day improved though. I was so focused on making sure I got a handle on the kids I really spoke firmly and did my best to take control. It for real went better. I can see things that need to be improved but for real I felt better. We had an intern come in today to observe and help a little and he was nice but from Taiwan and a little hard to understand if he spoke to quickly. I already don’t always hear so well but we made due and had some nice conversations. The kids were good overall and it was nice.

At 3 we went back to our classroom and me and Kyndra laid down the law. No computers, draw or work on your diorama, stop whining, no you cant work at the teacher table. I also implemented that if you are acting crazy you have to pick up 10 pieces of trash and it really helped clean the room up. The dioramas are also coming along nicely. And our gummy bear in water looked really bloated today. Honestly class itself was good overall. There are still whiner and complainers but I just am not putting up with it anymore. I told them that the program is going to be canceled if they don’t ship up so I think that helped. Also getting the 5th graders out of the room. That shit drives me up the wall.

I didn’t get out of there until close to 630 and I got home after 7 and had some soup that wasn’t very good and some toast. I have to go use my medicated shampoo but all I want to do it sit and read and listen to the rain.

I have some stuff I would like to do tomorrow. Cant be lazy. Goodnight!

Today was really good. And I was happy. I woke up around 8 and felt fine and good and slept well. I had the last of my pre made potatoes for breakfast and watched some tv and things were good.

I mostly just chilled this morning and got caught up on some shows and cleaned a little. It was beautiful outside so I spent some time cleaning out my car and getting it organized. I have a terrible habit of just throwing my receipts and wrappers behind my seat in my truck but now they are gone and my car is good again.

I went to five guys for lunch and while it was really tasty and I enjoyed eating and reading my book, I need to stop eating out. If I’m going to get in shape and strong I need to eat better. Plus I have no money and eating out all the time is to much money. When I lived in the apartment I rarely ate out so I know I can do it I just need to focus and also go get groceries. This upcoming Sunday I hope to make some good soup or chili to keep in the freezer or something.

I just don’t want a repeat of last winter and the gross soups that took up so much room and no one ever ate. If I’m going to do it I’m making that Italian sausage and kale soup because that was amazing.

I read for about an hour but I left way to early because of anxiety. I had a really nice ride in, awesome songs on the radio, beautiful sky. I got to work a little after 2 and read and talked to Kendra about this weeks plan. Basically because it’s a four day and no one is done their diorama we are extending space week. Which is honestly fine with me. We are going to watch another documentary and work on our boxes and I think it will be good.

Everyone loved the cupcakes I made. Jameer ended up sharing his with his kids (half because he is nice half because we didn’t have enough snack apparently??) but he said they were really good. And he doesn’t really like other peoples’ baking so it felt like a special compliment. The day was for sure quieter. I mean they are still rowdy but they were better. Its getting better overall. I also got asked by one of the directors to make baked goods for her son’s communion on the 25th so she will email me about that but I’m excited.

We all had to stay a little later because parents were late. But I still got home around the same time. I had leftover pizza for dinner and washed my hair AGAIN. I also got my first 2paycehcks and pretty much all of it is going straight to savings because I had to use so much of it for applications. I have been thinking about it and I think the camp in job, all that money will go straight to savings as well. Like I will set up direct deposit to that account so I wont even have to think about it. I think that’s a good plan.

I’m going to get in bed and read for a while now. Tomorrow is a long day so wish me luck!

sunteaflower:

We call ships ‘she.’ We call our war machines ‘women.’ We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever the hell I want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down-play my power.