<3 fine art and thrift stores

Im pretty positive Im gettings ick. I am so tired and I have been blaming it on the train blowing its horn at night but I dont think its that anymore. I just dont feel great. And I tried really hard to keep it together today but I feel like I snapped at a few kids who were just not listening but it was for dumb things so I feel bad.

But overall today was good. I woke up at 530 and just laid in bed until 555. I got up and had that extra 5 minutes to sort myself out. I got a shower and had breakfast and packed my bag. BUt then I realized my tablet was completely dead, I was able to get it up to 18% by the time I had to leave. But not soon after I got on the train did I discover my new water bottle is leaking. And I cant get an exchange I can only return it and be forced to pay return shipping. Which is almost how much the thing cost. So Im going to wash it in the dishwasher and maybe the hot water will fix the problem. Its worked before so maybe this time. But that was a big bummer for me. I was honestly feeling really good about myself and my clothes, and while my hair is driving me insane, things were good. My hair is just so dry from being in the sun and I need to wash it and deep condition it or something because its a mess. I was able to finally get my bangs to go down today though so that was nice.

Work was fine. But one of the other counselors in my room, Laura, called out, as did the CT that has been driving me up the wall this week, Matt. I did have a chat with Jess about him and he may be on the spectrum but honestly he just irks me as a person. I cant stand people that are that chatty and always hovering. I told her I try to redirect him instead of flat out telling him he need to stop, but she said I need to be more direct with him. I dont want to be mean though, I still like the guy, he’s just sort of annoying. Good with the kids though so I made sure to tell her that along with my criticisms.

I lead a few activites today and they went pretty well. Im getting way better at talking to the class and it felt way more comfortable when I was talking to them about different topics.  We did exhibits and the park and we even got to see a planetarium show. It was the Wildest Weather in the Solar System and I love that one so it was really fun. When we got back to the class I asked all the kids about their favorite planet/moon and then I told them some fun facts and we explored some of the things they talked about in the movie. After lunch I was the only counselor in the room for an hour but even that went well. I just had a good day.

I took my lunch at 2 and read and had mac and cheese. I tried to make an appointment with the neurologist but while they are open until 345, they stop taking phone calls at 1? Who does that? So Im going to try again tomorrow. So annoying though.

At the end of the day I was just beat and I had to firmly tell one of the girls in our class that she had to go sit down because she kept touching the smart board even though I had told her to stop multiple times. Then a few minutes later I saw her up there again and made her go sit down again because dude not cool. But she apologized and said she didnt realize I meant not to go back up. That was honestly the extent of the problems today, just kids being to excited, no one really being bad.

But in aftercare one of my campers punched another kid. This boy has been in camp for a few weeks now and he’s been getting worse as the summer has gone on but man punching a girl? Dude not cool. Respecting your fellow campers is rule #1. I dont know whats going to happen with him but if he keeps doing this stuff he’s going to get kicked out.

And he’s generally sweet in class so that would be sad.

I got home around 6 and had pizza and hung out in my room. My bunny decal came for my computer and I love it. But for real all I want to do is get in bed. Its just about to storm really bad, I can hear it. So Im going to make my lunch, wash off my makeup, and curl up with my tablet.


I slept so poorly last night. Usually the train stops blowing its horn around 11 and doesnt start again until 6. Not last night. It went off almost every hour and it woke me up just about every time. I specifically remember 3 and 5 am. Not the most restful night. But I was in a good mood and I tried my best to feel good about the day.

Theres is this guy who is always at the station I go to in the morning and he’s kind of cute in a goofy way. He’s always there and we often sit on the bench together, but weve never spoken and he never takes the same train as me. I realized yesterday its because he gets off at elkins park and I know that because I saw him sitting at the station as my express train went by. I want to ask him what he does there all day, since were on the same schedule, but man would that be creepy.

Work overall was good. I chatted with some friends and had a nice morning. It was a little dull but I was excited for the projects we were working on today. I was going to help the kids build neurons out of pipe cleaners and styrofoam balls, and in the morning they were going to draw their nervous systems. It went really well overall. And we got to go to 101 inventions which I hadnt been able to spend any time in yet so I was pumped. #6 was birthcontrol which I thought was really cool.

There was some drama today with some kids being mean to eachother between the two ¾ classes. But I tried my best to handle it. Okay at first I pushed it off to another person, but then I changed my mind and decided I was the adult in the situation and I dealt with it and informed the other counselors involved. I think I did good.

Also the show Brain Games in filming in the museum this week which is super cool, but also makes foot traffic a little bit of an issue.

I took my lunch really late, at 2, and made a phone call to my dermatologist because I accidently made my next appointment for the day me and Jess has tickets for Comic Con. Oops. They were cool about it though and they also said I have to see the neurologist before they can refill my scripts so mom is giving me a number to call tomorrow.

The rest of my day was good. We watched magic school bus and it was about computers but it was made in 1997 so they were using floppy disks and it was hilarious. At the end of the day I tried to talk to a lot of parents about their kids and it felt really nice to be able to tell them what was going on and how good they were doing.

After I got home I jumped in my car and went and got my bloodwork taken care of. The woman who did it was so sweet and listened to me babble about everything that was going to and it was nice to have a nice person to talk to.

I came home and didnt feels so well though so I changed and sat for a while. Mom made stuffed shells and I read for a little. Im very much ready to get in bed though.

Half way through the week tomorrow. Its supposed to be very humid and hot. Ugh. Still hoping for a good day.

First things first, I finally got rid of the pile of clothes in my room. I just bagged it up and gave it to my brother to take to his thrift store. Finally. Today was a pretty good day but man was I tired.

I woke up at 6 and dad took me to the train so I had plenty of time for a good breakfast and just lazing about.

I got to work at 8 and got changed, found my classroom (which is in the new building and is beautiful), and went to my post. I was in a really good mood this morning and was happily talking about my art and shows and stuff and then that girl that gets on my nerves came in and just cut me off and started talking to me. I just started laughing and turned away and finished my conversation before I even said hi to her. Turns out shes sick and now I feel not great and if she got me sick with her close talking I will be so mad.

I got to meet all my new kids today and I have a lot of kids Ive had before which is great, and some new kids Im looking forward to getting to know. One little girl was very sweet but was a bit of a cryer, pretty much all morning. She was just way overwhelmed by the people and the noise. I tried my best to make her felt comfortable and introduce her to others but it was a struggle. It got way better by the end of the day and hopefully even betterer by tomorrow.

Our group name is The Cerebellum, and I made a poster but Im not as proud of it. I dont draw good brains. I tried my best. I told a few of the kids that were the butt of the brain and they laughed and were fake mad at me.

I really like the other counselors Im with and my CTs are good overall. I have one who I had during circus and he sort of irks me but he listens when I tell him to do something so I cant fault him for being to chatty.

It was a fun day but we were outside way to often. First for brain themed marco polo, then for free play, and then for this weird hopscotch thing. I was to hot.

By the end of the day I was falling asleep standing up but I shook myself out and fixed my makeup and the day ended really well.

Buddy, my manager, gave me a lot of atta girls and good jobs and great taking initiative’s today. It felt awesome, but honestly I wasnt trying to do anything special, just doing my job.

One scary thing that happened today was when we were in Circus a few police officers came in and looked around for a while so we gathered the kids and took them back to the classroom just in case and it turned out there had been a missing child for almost 2 hours. Apparently long enough to warrant calling the cops in. It was scary. I beleive they found them because they canceled the code on walkie, but Im going to investigate tomorrow.

I almost fell asleep on the train but I didnt. Dad picked me up from there to take me to get blood taken and we got in a stupid argument in the car because I was so beat and agitated. And then the stupid testing place was closed! Even though their website said they would be open. I did end up having a nice conversation with a delivery man while I waited for my dad to come back and he said he liked the blue in my hair.

Dad called and found a different place that will be open tomorrow until 7 so Im going to try again. It was still not fun.

Mom was back from her trip when I came home and we talked for a while and then Steven came over and its nice to have the whole family in the house and not screaming. My dad just found out a cousin of his, who’s only 6 years older, died last week and no one told him. Plus he died from an infection which is what he had last year so its really scary. Just keep my dad in your thoughts.

Im looking forward to tomorrow but I just want to go to sleep now. Im going to read for a little and then get in bed because tomorrow is going to wear me down before noon if I still feel like this.

Goodnight everyone.

I didn’t do all the things that I said I was going to do today but it was a wicked productive day for me. I just wanted to keep reading last night so I didnt get up until 9 even though I had wanted to wake up at 8. But that was okay.

I didnt actually have to be anywhere today, I was just going to do things and cook and it was going to be a relaxing and fulfilling day. and it was.

I made a big breakfast with potatoes with peppers, and a runny egg, and a grilled cheese sandwich. It was awesome. i really liked my outfit today too. I did wash my hair when I woke up and blew my bangs back because I felt cooler without them (literally and not). Who knows how I will feel about them tomorrow.

Firstly I wanted to just chill. I did that for a little. Hung out in my chair and watched my fish swim around.

I helped dad get the lawnmower in the truck. Because my brother was supposed to come over at 10 to help him mow at the old house and didnt show up. After I helped I decided it was art time. Today was a good day for art.

I made tiny cardstock houses. 10 of them. it took me about 2 hours total but it was like that nice relaxing repetitive work. it was nice. BUt about half way through working my brother came storming in yelled and slamming things because he claimed he was just there to help dad and way wasnt he there and i told him just to go to the other house and he was just so spastic. it made me really mad and totally threw me off but i just had to go back to working and forget about it.

After I finished the houses I took them and my bunnies down to the basement and completed the pieces and photographed them. And photographed my book trees as best i could. i need a bigger white space. But for now I’m very pleased with how they look. I’m super happy with my bunnies! i still need to get their lights installed but i am super happy with how they look and i love that I’m touching on ideas from my nomadic fox series again.

That pretty much took me through the rest of my afternoon. Around 230 i started cooking for lunches for the week. i made spicy pasta salad with veggies, and lots of over baked mac and cheese. i sat on the kitchen floor and watched tv and did the dishes. My dad came home around 330 and then went and got a hoagie and brought me back donuts.

After I finished cooking, and had dinner, dad had fallen asleep on the couch. I had promised myself that around 530 if it wasnt sunny I would go pull weeds to make mom happy when she gets home from her trip.

And i did for almost an hour. Some of those little fuckers were strong, but i got a lot of them. Not all of them. i did it until i was sweaty and to hot and called it a day. i made a good amount of progress.

i came in and made my lunch for tomorrow and fed all the animals and now im making a big thing of breakfast potatoes and I’m going to read and go to bed by 10. This week’s theme is Braniacs and there were enough ¾ graders to warrant 2 classes with 3 counselors each. Ouch. But I’m hoping it goes as smoothly as the other classes have! I’m pretty excited.

Sleep well everyone. Have a good day tomorrow!

"Collection" installation view, found objects. 2014

"Collection" installation view, found objects. 2014

"Warren" wire, clay, faux fur, paper, found object. 2014

(Source: peanutbutterandjesse.com)



Professional or not, no matter what art style, I wanna see how many artists are out there.

I figured out in the interim until I get Word I can use google docs. So thats pretty sweet.

I woke up not feeling the best about myself.

Okay that isnt completely true. I woke up first before 8 am because my dad was playing guitar in the basement right below me. Which yes Im glad he was playing the guitar because he doesnt do it enough anymore, but dude sleeping.

But when I did get up for real I just wasnt feeling so great about me. All my clothes, my hair, just generally feeling down. And my webcam flips my pictures so I am seeing myself how others see me, instead of mirrored how Im used to and I look weird. But I know thats just because its how my brain inturprits my face and it isnt used to it this way. I am just manually flipping the pictures because I hate it that much.

Then I forgot to put makeup on before I got dressed and of course spilled powered all down my shirt so I had to change. And then I changed again because I didnt like what I was wearing.

I settled on a good outfit even though I felt crappy, I made potatos and a runny egg with toast for breakfast. I hung out with my cat. I worked on my last bunny. Though I didnt finish him this morning because I had a lot of aniexty.

I was doing my gallery sitting duties today so I had to get to frankford by noon. But I ended up leaving at 11 because I couldnt sit in the house anymore. I had nowhere else I needed to go to really so I went and drove towards the mall to waste some time and then texted Jess because I saw a store was opening that she would be interested in. It didnt waste a lot of time but it was enough so I wasnt to early.

I got there around 1130 so I sat in my car and read for a while. But I was still very anxious so I didnt enjoy it so much. But Leslie and Melissa showed up around the same time (almost exactly noon) and Leslie unlocked the door and it was all good.

First I didnt think I would like Melissa, she was a little sarcastic, but we ended up talking almost the entire 2 and a half hours and I would have talked with her more. She is in her 40s and a mom and so talented. Living off art and art things and she had great advice and wanted to get me in touch with other artist she knows and we talked about my crazy family and life and her art and my art and she actually might buy one of my book trees. Plus she gave me like 20 good ideas for showing them and selling them.

She crocheted the whole time and I sketched. I think I know what Im going to be making next month and Im pretty excited. Its not a complete idea yet but its getting there.

We didnt have a lot of people come in but the ones who did were characters.

A young girl who was very sweet. A dad who signed up his daughter for my workshop next week. And a man who was coming in to thank Joe (my old teacher) for giving him a computer and it did work out. And then he told us his wife has been in a coma for 9 days and we talked for a while and he was very sweet and seemed really smart, just stuck in a bad place.

When I went out to put quarters in the meter a guy yelled “Hey whats your name?” from his bike so I said Jesse. He asked what I was doing, can he have my number. I said you can come talk to me more if you come in the gallery and look at some art. And no you cant have my number. He did not come in.

At 230 I left and came home. It was a nice drive but I accidently went the long way because I missed a turn. It was fine I still got home by 3.

I finished my last rabbit and started playing with cardstock house ideas. Im hoping to get that started at least tomorrow. Ive spent the rest of today playing with Oliver, making pizza, doing dishes, trying to not feel so low. I was telling Jess yesterday I think I may be getting sick.

I better not be I dont have time for that.

Plus being sick in the summer is the worst.

Tomorrow I will make little homes out of paper, and make differnt kinds of pasta for lunches throughout this week, and maybe make a cheesecake.

For now Im just going to hang out in my favorite chair and enjoy my last hours of my week off. 2 long weeks of work coming up.

Grey cat was snoring. 

 So for the time being I am using notepad to write my blog instead of using a word doc. I will have to figure out what to do about that because this is a little annoying. There is no spell check in this thing?


I woke up today and had an email from my bank and went on my laptop to log in only to remember 2 of my keys dont work and one of those letters is in my password. Awesome. I was able to log on on my phone and get it sorted but still this was not going to work.

I had planned on getting my last bunny sewen together but getting my laptop situation fixed was priority one. So after eating a good breakfast and doing the dishes and vaccuming I went to staples to look at chromebooks.

FIrst thing the staples no longer had the little section of them, they only had 2 and it wasnt the one I had looked into before. So I played around and found them annoying and the webcams were terrible. Honestly I was a little disgusted so I decided to go to hh greh because thats where Ive gotten all my electronics and they have always been really nice to me. 

I went to the one at oxford valley and was helped by a nice guy named Addy. 

I told him I had been looking at chrome books but changed my mind and he said that was probably for the best because they kind of suck. So I switched to a netbook and told him my budget was $400.

Honestly I didnt want to spend that much but I wanted to get something worthwhile. 

He showed me a few in my price range and I ended up really liking this Asus netbook with a touch screen. I didnt know how I felt about the touch screen but I figured I would get used to it. Also it had windows 8 which I was apprigensive about and its not my favorite platform but I can switch to it looking like windows 7 so I guess its fine for now. And like I said no mircosoft office because Im not paying for that shit again I only need word and maybe powerpoint. I wanted a light laptop so I got one without a cd drive so Im not sure how I will download the programs in the furture but Im sure theres a way.

The computer only came in pink. Not a deal breaker but not my favorite thing. He kept saying they sell this laptop to women a lot because its pink and that just made me mad. But he was nice just dumb. So im going to make my laptop like kaweii fem. I even bought a bunny siloette decal for it and Im going to make it super cool.

I got a warrenty for it in case I drop it and because i was patient and nice he gave me $30 off that and set it up for free (they usually charge $40 which is stupid because he didnt really do anything I couldnt have done myself). 

I went home after using most of my savings to buy this thing and finished backing up my files from my other laptop. My dad is going to look into getting that one fixed and keeping it for himself. I was going to give it to him before and I feel really bad that I broke it but he says if its cheaper to get that one fixed then for him to get a new one he will just do that. 

I walked to the traina round 2 and dad ended up showing up there and we talked while I waited. It was nice to sit with him and talk and stuff. I feel like we havent been able to do that for a while.

I took the train to betharyes and walked to my dermatologist. I was a half hour early and there wasnt anyone else there so she saw me 20 minutes early. I had an intern nurse come in and I was nervous so I talked to much and I didnt want to forget anything I had wanted to ask about so I was kind if rapid fire telling him things.

Firstly she said I should go to a plastic surgen to get the weird mole on my chin removed because its hurting me and that could be a bad thing. She also told me to stop stabbing at it because that cant be helping. She said my skin looks really good and if I wanted she could inject the last few spots today but I decided against it because they just kind of are part of me and Im not that bothered by them compaired to how bad they were. I told her about how my joints dont hurt when Im on the embrel and she said I porbbaly for sure have psoradic arthritis like I had been told before but she wants me to see a rhumatologist to comfirm. And then I told her about how my hands just dont work sometimes, and I just drop things. Sometimes my hands just open and I drop things and sometimes they are just weak and I cant grab things. She was very concerned about that because apparently the embrel can do something to the nerves in my brain and so she wants me to see a nuralogist in the next few weeks. She said hopefully its nothing, but they have to check because being on meds like this long term have the possibiliy of screwing you up.

That was a little scary. But I got my script for bloodwork and was on my way by my origional appointment time. Seriously I barely had to wait at all it was awesome. 

I went back to the train to sit and wait and while I was there this old man came over to talk to me. I see him at that station all the time. He’s a ticket sales man and he talks to everyone and turns out is the sweetest man ever. His name is Joe and he wanted to check on me because he had never seen me before and I had been sitting there by myself for a while and we talked about the train and stuff and he was so nice. I told him I was just there because I was at the doctors and I ususally go to the city. And I swear every person that came to the platform said “Hi Joe! What are you doing here this late!” or something along those lines. He’s like the mayor of that station it was so cute.

I got home around 4 and had some snacks and finished setting up my new computer best I could. It has a totally differnt feel and is so light and Im def going to have to get used to it but so far so good. I got my important things moved over and I use chrome so all my favorites and saved passwords are here and its awesome. 

At 630 I went to pick up Jess and we had dinner at red robin and then went ice sktating. I had such a good time. We talked pretty much nonstop teh entire 3 hours we were together. We joked and laughed and ate and ice skating was fun. Even though there were so many teenagers and they were being assholes. And the staff on teh ice was just like them and did not care. I got hit by them a few times trying to skate between up and skating towards us and then turning and Jess got knocked over and landed on her tailbone and she was veyr upset so we went and found the manager and he apologized and went and yelled at them and the staff member and for the next hour they teens pretty much stayed away. 

It was nice how few people there were but man did they all have to be terrible.

On our way out hockey men were walking in and I oogled them for a little bit.

Then we came home. I dropped Jess off and she gave me some art supplies and Im home now. And very tired. After I post this Im washing my face and getting right into bed. 

Tomorrow Im gallery sitting and hopefully finishing my rabbits so I can move onto the next step. I think it will be a nice day though. Im going to bring my sketchbook and try to figure out my next project for august. But my brain is just so tired now so Im going to bed. Sleep well everyone. 

First webcam selfies with my new laptop. 

Just dropped so much cash for my new laptop and its beautiful and I’m pretty pleased. I’m waiting for my other laptop to backup first but I’m so excited I can type again. Windows 8 is pretty weird though. 

So I may have dropped my laptop on the ground and a bunch of my keys are no longer working. This sucks. Its random letters to like h g and my down key. Who knows what other keys are jacked up. I’m pretty upset about tis. It wasn’t even a far drop, like 2 feet but it hit hard enough for my battery to pop out and I’m going to have to send it in for repairs for sure since laptops still aren’t self-healing. Ugh. Seriously this is going to take me a year to write because I have to copy and paste all the extra letters from spell check. I had no idea I was using so many h ‘s .

And we just checked and of course the warranty expired last month  Sucks ass.

But today was pretty good. I woke up around 9 and had a nice breakfast and  got dressed. I did yoga and worked on y rabbits. I got another one finished and put eyes on all of tee of tem completed so far.

Man this is the worst I can barely type and now the g came off and I cant get it back on .

Whatever. I went out a few times today and felt like a accomplished a lot. I did the dishes and worked on sculpture. I cleaned my fish tank and washed my air. And omg I am using so many h g.

Tomorrow I’m  going to have to look for a new laptop. Which is sooner than I had planned but I cant live like this.

Today was a pretty good day but I started feeling not good around 4 and laid down to read for a little. then I took a bath a thats when I dropped my laptop. Chris is coming over in about an our and were going to watch the stars and tat should make me feel a little better but this is the worst. I cant even write my blog post.

Just know that today was a good day and I did a lot and hopefully tomorrow this will all be fixed. 

Today was a pretty great day.

I woke up at 930 and had the rest of my chipotle. I washed the hair dye out and it actually stuck this time. Its not as vibrant as I would like, but next time it should work. I’m going to wait until next week though, give it some time. I felt really good today.

I really wanted to get in bed and read but I was feeling a lot of guilt about being lazy so I instead I gave myself goals. I filled the dishwasher. And had toast. And finished another of my rabbits. So around noon I went out to look for cosplay things and get groceries.

I went to a thrift store called GoodStuff that my mom had been raving about. And while it was clean and bright I was underwhelmed by their selection. But honestly I think that’s because I came in looking for a specific thing, and that always leads to tunnel vision. I would for sure go back there when I’m not looking for a blue greek style dress in a pretty fabric. But for serious they had one. It took some searching but I found the most beautiful dress in their retro section. And it was 50% off. I mean it did have shoulder pads, but they can be removed easily. It fits me so well and I’m so excited about it.

I went to salvation army after that and there were to many people who took  up entire aisles with their carts and I just got annoyed and left. Next stop was the grocery store where I ended up buying $80 worth of food. So I wont have to eat out for a while at least. Got lots of fruit and potatoes and peppers, yogurt, milk, pizzas, bread. I am going to bake up the red potatoes and the peppers I got probably tomorrow so I can have hash browns for breakfast and snacks or whatever. I love red potatoes.

I spent the rest of the day organizing the fridge and watching tv. I made a batch of smoothies and ate snacks. I played dress up and organized and played with the cat. I made some emails and just had a nice time being alone in the house. I never did actually get to read at all so I’ll finish my book tonight.

But I had a really nice day. Making art and getting food. Also I love my new phone case that came in the mail, even if it was slightly broken. Its mint and pink and its so cute. Like a pastel watermelon.  Tomorrow I hope to finish another rabbit and eat pizza and start laying out my houses. Maybe. Jess said she has Bristol board for me so I would ideally use that. Dad also says I have to vacuum so that will happen at some point. I would like to go out to lunch with my mom but she’s really busy getting ready for her trip this weekend.

I just hope to make the most of my days. This is exactly the middle of my week off so it feels like less but it’s the same and I can accomplish just as much as I have so far I’m sure. Sleep well everyone.