I totally had a feeling that today was going to be weird.
I woke up at 615, took a shower, had some cereal but really only drank the milk because I was so thirsty, and left by 7. It wasn’t snowing yet but it started by the 2nd stop on my train. I seriously knew I was going home and that work wasn’t going to be happening.
I got to the city at 8 and stopped at wawa for juice and mac and cheese. I didn’t want to have pizza today. This was while I was still sure I would be at work for lunch. The snow wasn’t the soft pretty stuff from Sunday. It was wet and heavy and constant. It was also blowing sideways into my face and neck. By the time I got to work I was soaked to the bone and covered in snow. But I defrosted and changed.
By the time 845 rolled around pretty much my whole department was in and Bonita let us know everyone but 4 people would have to go home. At first I said please don’t sent me home but then I got hit with this exhaustion I get from being to cold and then to hot. So after our morning meeting I volunteered to go home. I was also concerned about getting home safely in the dark with icy roads, so going home in the daytime seemed better.
I had to wait for the 10 train though so I took my time and read for a little. The train ride back was beautiful though. It made me all warm in my chest.
I got back and the road was pretty messy and slippery. I slid getting out of my parking space and when I got home dad had to park it for me because I couldn’t get up the hill.
I wrapped presents and watched greys anatomy all afternoon. I hung out with my poor sick mom a little and she showed me my ultrasound pictures which I had trouble understanding. I didn’t get anything done really. I just enjoyed my day off and looked out the window and enjoyed the peacefulness.
Tomorrow I have off though and since I did nothing today I am going to do something tomorrow. I am going to wake up at 9 and be in my studio by 11 and spend at least 3 hours working. Hopefully.
I am ready for bed soon though.
Be safe and have a good night.
Sometimes my hands just cease to work and I will drop things, or be unable to flip a light switch, or fumble my phone across the room like I did right now.
humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars :~)
So I got to work and they said basically no one is going to come in. But we only had one call out. So they asked all but 4 of us to go home. I’m back at the train station now. Date with Ian canceled again, but it’s alright. I’m going to go home and try to paint the snow.
I’m on the train and it’s snowing and it’s beautiful but I can’t help but worry that work is canceled? Apparently on sunday they called people and told them not to come in because of the snow but I’m already most of the way there. We will see. Really pretty to look at though
Ow. My head hurts. Well really my eyes. Like the stalks or whatever. Its like stress or something. But I hate it.
I woke up decidedly unhappy. I was cold and tired and unwell. I snapped at my dad and I left to early and ended up with the express train that got me to the city at 8. Which isn’t the worst thing but I really didn’t need to leave so early. I think tomorrow I will leave closer to 705 so I can take the local.
But it was a pretty good day. Started off quiet but a lot of groups came in. I was at the lunch rooms for an hour and a half and there were a few groups not on my papers and groups not listening to me when I told them they cant eat in the rooms before there reserved times. And it was all so annoying. I just wanted people to listen to me and you know how well that goes.
At lunch I got the call about the internship and it feels really nice to have someone want me to work with them. Even if I wont be getting paid. At least I will have more experience and maybe they will want to hire me at the end, who knows.
When I went to tell my manager the good news the first thing she said to me was “How is this going to affect me?” Rude; you could at least say congrats first.
I hung out with my café friends towards the end of the day and I got to hang out with the cute new girl for a while, turns out shes a painting major. Very cool girl.
I cleared the 1st floor quickly and basically ran in my boots to the train station. I caught the express with the cute conductor. He laughed at me because I wasn’t smiling and normally I would be offended being told to smile but it wasn’t in the way strangers on the street do it. He’s like my train friend so its alright.
I picked up chipotle for my parents and now I am ready to lay down. I got the rest of Jess and Sarah’s gifts and I am excited to finish wrapping and working on everything else.
More snow tomorrow I think. Be safe. Goodnight.
The franklin institute just offered me an internship in museum programs for the spring/the science festival! Finally someone is saying yes against all those no’s
you were really cute until that offensive joke spewed out of your mouth: a guide to how to not be my future lover by me.
I slept in late today. I just didn’t want to get up. I wanted to do nothing and accomplish nothing. I got another rejection letter and it sucks. I just don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m qualified for. I don’t know what to do. I applied at Barnes but its just another job like the one I have. I mean hopefully it would let me grow and move to different departments. But I honestly don’t know. I’m feeling very frustrated with it all.
But today was still a good day. I did want to start working on some art but then it started snowing and I just couldn’t.
I waited until there was about an inch of snow before suiting up and going outside. I put on my Hadestown Opera and walked to the creek and looked at the water and just enjoyed the seriously most perfect snow. It wasn’t so cold, and it wasn’t wet. It was fluffy, dry snow and it was perfect.
I lost a button on my coat and once I made it to the end of the flat bank I turned back. Going back was a bit scary because I almost fell down the embankment into the water. But not really. It was just hard to see where I was going to step next. I was alright though.
I got back and dried off. I did laundry. I went through some clothes. I fixed the button on my coat.
But I still didn’t want to make anything.
Maybe I’m just in a creative slump or is there a seasonal defective disorder for art? I need to start making again though. I am going to sit down on Wensday and make some bodies for creature people and get to work on my doll house gallery. I still need to draw out my painting but not yet. I don’t really know what I want to paint. I’m thinking maybe one of the pictures I took today but I’m not sure.
I got in an argument with my parents over pasta and now that I ate I feel a little better. But my head still hurts. And I am worried about getting to work safely tomorrow; but I’m going to wear actual snow boats to work so my feet aren’t so frozen. I’m going to try on my Christmas party outfit now and then get ready for bed.
Goodnight. Be safe.